Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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