"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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