he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
