she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
