I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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