Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize