I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
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Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
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I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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