Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
