apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
