dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
