if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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