i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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