he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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