bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Alive.
So much puke
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
