New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
