sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
