also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
