We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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