Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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