In the future we'll all be gay
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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