you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
