Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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