Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
