I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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