worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
