I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Randomize
