Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
