is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
