so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
