Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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