so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Terrible idea I love it
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
