the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
