Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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