I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
