i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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