If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
