Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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