Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
