i just had sex bonerless
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You need Xanax blowdarts
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Randomize
