She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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