Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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