I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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