Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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