brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize