I hate your face
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
