I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
