no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
