I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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