She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
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Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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