My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
