So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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