I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
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im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
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You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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