If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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