tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
