I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
