know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
