i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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