I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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