Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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