Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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