How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
