a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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