its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
