I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
